Why Marriages Are Failing Nowdays?

According to me the biggest reason of failing marriages nowadays is because no one is ready to adjust and compromise in relationships like before. Everyone wants to move on and find new relationships with better qualities and better personality. They care more about themselves than others. Their mental health, self-love, and their personal needs have become a priority to them. They don’t care much about the other partners feelings, needs, emotions, and health. And end up being alone or lonely after going through so many relationships after a certain point of time. No relationship or marriage is perfect in all ways, and no human is perfect. Every person has their own flaws, and every marriage has its own advantages and disadvantages. “Marriage is not about perfection, but about adjustment — two people learning to bend without breaking and grow without losing themselves.”

Adjusting in the marriage depends on how the environment of your partner’s house (in-laws and other relatives) and how good your partner is. If the relationship has become very toxic like continuous disrespect, selfishness, no proper care, physical abuse, emotional abuse, and no value, then you can end the relationship after giving them a second chance to change themselves and treat you properly. If they still don’t change, then it’s good to get out of the relation for your own mental peace and self-respect. Other than that, if you are not going through all this, then you will have to learn to adjust a bit with your partner because no two partners will be the same or have same mindset, thinking, habits, personality, and behavior. What I have seen is that in most of the marriages, the couple are totally different from each other. Their hobbies, behaviors, way of thinking, likes, dislikes, and even taste differ a lot from each other. Just like opposites. One likes sweet, other likes spice. One likes cleanliness, other likes to be messy. One likes to be talkative, other likes to be silent. One loves family, other loves to be alone. One loves to spend money, other likes to save money. One likes Hollywood movies, other likes Bollywood. One likes romantic songs, other likes pop music. One likes to be natural, other loves to try new products on their body. One likes to wear classy clothes, other likes to wear vibrant and fancy clothes. One loves to shout and get angry, other likes to give long lectures instead of arguing. One likes to travel, other loves to be at home. etc. etc. If I keep on saying, this becomes endless as every human is different and has different needs. And these opposites make the relationship much stronger. They learn new things from each other and try to discover more about each other every day.

So, you have to try to adjust to these small things with your partner to keep your relationship going.  I know it’s not easy and how it feels when your partner is not able to enjoy what you love and like. For example, you might like to eat chocolate and cake, but your partner hates them and likes only snack items and spicy things, then you will not be able to enjoy your favorite food with your partner. At that time, you can eat it with your friends and family members or even your children. You might like coffee so much and your partner might like tea. So don’t completely shift to tea for your partner. Make one cup coffee and one cup tea differently and sit with your partner. And sometimes drink tea with your partner too and tell your partner also to try coffee with you sometimes. They might not like it initially, but they can just do it for the sake of their partner occasionally. This makes you feel special and celebrated. Adjustment doesn’t mean you have to completely change yourself for your partner, You may not like it in the long run and your partner also may not like it because they also want you to be yourself and this is your identity, and they loved you for being yourself. Don’t change your identity for someone else.  This will make your partner feel that you are completely dependent on them and you can do anything for them, and they will start taking you for granted.

If you really have to change yourself completely or be completely dependent on someone then that should be for your GOD. Because he is the only one who will love you and take care of you forever. And you have to go back to him after death. So don’t waste your precious time in impressing someone other than your God. When you have good relationship with God, he will always give you the best. There is no concept of happily married couple or happily ever after on this planet. Every couple fight every day or at least once a week or once in a month. And this is completely normal and healthy too for a relationship to become stronger. It’s a big amount of respect, a little love, a little adjustment, small gestures, little gifts, little compromise, and proper care towards each other that keeps them going in a relationship for years. Love and respect should be from both sides. Then only you can create memories together and be together for years. Complete adjustment and sacrifice are not for a partner who doesn’t love or respect you.

I personally believe that you should never get attached to a person so much that you cannot live without them or do anything without them. Because humans make mistakes and change by time. You cannot trust on them for life. So, you should have to be independent and focus on your career, your goals, your hobbies, your identity, your religion, your responsibilities as a wife/husband, children, and your family members too along with loving and taking care of your partner. You have to balance all these things after marriage. Don’t always be behind your partner and watch their every step or involve in their every discussion or meetings. You have to give them some private space. If you involve in everything, you might not like some of their things and you will be depressed and think that they don’t love or value you. Your partner will also get irritated with you thinking you don’t trust them at all. “Healthy relationships are like the universe, they thrive on balance, closeness creates connection, and space allows growth.”

Marriage has always been seen as the foundation of family, stability, and love. For generations, it was considered a lifelong commitment, something to be nurtured and protected. But in today’s world, things look very different. Divorce rates are rising, and even couples who stay together often feel more like roommates than partners. Marriage has long been seen as one of life’s most important commitments — a bond meant to weather storms, celebrate victories, and build a shared future. Yet today, divorce rates are higher than ever, and many couples find themselves struggling to sustain the very relationships they once dreamed about. The question is why? While there’s no single answer, several societal, cultural, and personal shifts shed light on why marriages seem more fragile today than in past generations. The question so many people ask is Why are marriages failing nowadays? The truth is it isn’t one single reason. It’s a combination of changing times, shifting priorities, and personal struggles.

Here are some of the reasons of a failing marriage which I have observed till now: – 

1. Unrealistic Expectations: – Once upon a time, people married for companionship, security, or family stability. Today, marriage is expected to be a one-stop-shop for everything: passion, financial support, emotional fulfillment, friendship, adventure, and even healing old wounds. Modern media often paints love as flawless — constant passion, grand gestures, and happily-ever-after endings. But real relationships involve conflict, compromise, and boring routines. Many couples enter marriage expecting perfection, only to feel disillusioned when reality sets in. When one person is expected to play all these roles, disappointment becomes inevitable. Instead of working through imperfections, many begin to believe, Maybe I chose the wrong person. But there is no right person in this world. All have flaws in some way or the other. If they are good at something, then they will be bad in another thing. When entering a marriage, the first thing that you should get rid of in your mind is EXPECTATION from your partner. You give your best in the relationship and don’t expect anything in return. You will surely get what you want someday. We have to find our own happiness and enjoy ourselves.

2. Financial Stress and Lifestyle Pressures: – Money has always been a source of tension in marriages, but today’s economic climate magnifies it. Couples are juggling student loans, mortgages, rising living costs, and the pressure to “keep up” with Instagram-perfect lifestyles. Money remains one of the leading causes of marital tension. Rising living costs, debt, and differing financial priorities create stress. When couples don’t have aligned financial goals or transparent conversations about money, cracks start to show quickly. When bills pile up or one partner spends recklessly, love can quickly get buried under resentment and stress. Financial issues don’t just drain bank accounts — they drain emotional connection too. And when the women is a homemaker and doesn’t earn money, she gets disrespected a lot for not earning money by doing a part time job or bringing money from her parents. If the women are working and also taking care of the house, the husband takes her money and spends it on his business and household bills, and he doesn’t show any interest in doing his own job. This causes a major problem among couples and financial stress. I believe to reduce financial stress in marriage; both the couples have to come to an understanding that there will be no extra spending on luxury items and useless things. And both the couples should not involve in each other’s financial decisions. Both can contribute their income to home, but men have to contribute more than women. Because it’s the responsibility of a man to earn money for family and it’s the woman’s responsibility to take care of home and children. She can also earn money along with these responsibilities and keep it to herself or spend for her family. It’s her wish according to Islam.

3. The Decline of Communication: – Think about it: most relationships don’t end with a dramatic betrayal. They end quietly. It starts when couples stop talking about the little things: how their day went, their dreams, or even frustrations. Soon, silence grows, misunderstandings deepen, and emotional intimacy fades. By the time the big fights arrive, the foundation is already cracked. In the past, societal pressure and cultural norms often kept couples together, even when they were unhappy. Today, people feel freer to walk away from unfulfilling marriages. While this freedom is empowering, it also means couples may not push as hard to resolve deep-seated issues. Many marriages fail not because of big betrayals, but because of a slow erosion of connection. When partners stop communicating openly about their needs, struggles, or dreams, emotional distance creeps in. Over time, this silence can feel like a wall. Good communication isn’t just about talking — it’s about listening, validating, and trying to understand, even when it’s uncomfortable. Without it, marriages starve. And this communication gap comes when both the couples stop giving quality time to each other and take each other for granted.

4. Technology, social media, and Distractions: – We live in a world more connected than ever, yet couples often feel lonelier. Instead of spending evenings talking or laughing, many couples sit side by side, scrolling through their phones. Phones, social media, and endless digital distractions often steal attention away from relationships. Instead of connecting deeply with a spouse, many people find themselves scrolling, comparing, or escaping into virtual worlds, leaving intimacy and connection behind. Social media also creates unrealistic comparisons: Why isn’t my marriage as happy as theirs? Why doesn’t my partner do grand gestures like that? Why is my wife not beautiful like her? Why can’t my wife love me like that? Why is my lifestyle not luxury as theirs? etc. These silent comparisons breed dissatisfaction, even when nothing is “wrong” in your relationship and lifestyle. I have also learned from so many elders that we should never look at people above us, we have to look people who are below us and how happy they live. And we have to thank GOD for giving us this life and all the things in it. If you are satisfied with what you have, GOD will give you more. Trust me everyone has problems. Rich have their own problems and poor have their own problems. Success is not just money, it is peace of mind, happiness, family, kids, our favorite career, and good health.

5. Changing Attitudes Toward Commitment: – In past generations, divorce was frowned upon, and people stayed together even in toxic marriages. Today, the stigma is gone, and people feel freer to leave if things don’t work out. While this is positive in many ways, it has also shifted how people view commitment. Today’s culture often prioritizes individual happiness and self-fulfillment. While this is important, it can sometimes clash with the sacrifices marriage requires. Commitment means compromise, patience, and endurance — values that can feel old-fashioned in a fast-paced, self-centered world. Some people give up not because love is gone, but because effort feels too heavy. They feel marriage is nothing but a stressful relationship. Thatswhy they like to be single and keep a girlfriend to make love or get in Live-in relationships. I agree marriage is stressful in the initial years as both the partners are trying to adjust to each other. If you continue like this for a few more years with patience and keeping up your self respect, you both will definitely find a way to be happy with each other. Remember that marriage does not compete with live-in relationships or just keeping a girlfriend. It’s a very pure and respectful bond where both souls connect to each other and go ahead in life along with their families and kids. Since the result of marriage is very sweet, it takes so much time, patience, adjustment, compromise, loyalty, honesty, care, communication, efforts, persistency, and respect for each other to taste that sweetness.

6. Infidelity and Emotional Affairs: – The digital world has made cheating easier than ever. Sometimes it’s physical; other times it’s emotional — secret chats, online connections, exposure to porn sites, or rekindling old flames through social media. With easy access to dating apps and social media, opportunities for emotional or physical infidelity have multiplied. Sometimes, affairs stem from deeper unmet needs, but the ease of “seeking elsewhere” has made temptation harder to resist. Nowadays, everything runs on money. Just give a few dollars and they are ready to show you everything related to sexual content on websites and video calls. This has made people addicted to it and they expect the same things that they see online from their partner at home. And many others hook up with their office collogues or college friends. People always want something new and get bored of the same thing very easily nowadays. They may feel happy for a short time, but later they will feel lonely and depressed when all the people in their life go away from them due to this negative thoughts and cheating. Trust, once broken, is incredibly hard to rebuild.

7. Lack of Preparedness: – Many couples spend months planning a perfect wedding day, but very little time preparing for the marriage itself. Without premarital counseling or deep discussions about values, conflict resolution, children, finances, or family dynamics, they enter blind. Without honest conversations about values, or learning conflict-resolution skills, they enter marriage unprepared for the challenges ahead. The truth is, love alone is not enough. Marriage is a skill — and like any skill, it requires learning, practice, and growth.

8. Growing Apart Instead of Together: – People evolve over time. The challenge in marriage is to grow with each other rather than apart. When couples fail to share goals, interests, or dreams, they often wake up one day and feel like strangers living under the same roof. Successful marriages require constant reinvestment: date nights, shared hobbies, and honest check-ins. Without these, the bond slowly weakens.

Final Thoughts: –

It’s easy to say marriages are failing, but maybe what’s happening is more complex. In earlier times, couples stayed married out of duty, societal pressure, or lack of options. Today, people demand more from marriage: love, respect, growth, and fulfillment. Marriage is not “failing” as an institution — it’s evolving. The higher divorce rates don’t always mean failure; sometimes, they reflect people’s unwillingness to settle for unhealthy or unfulfilling partnerships. That said, marriages that thrive today often do so because both partners invest intentionally: communicating, compromising, and growing together. At the end of the day, marriage requires more than love — it demands resilience, effort, and a shared commitment to weather the inevitable ups and downs of life. So yes, marriages may be ending more often — but perhaps it’s because people are no longer willing to live in relationships that don’t serve them. Still, if couples want their marriages to thrive, they must be willing to fight for it. Love is not enough. It takes communication, compromise, patience, forgiveness, and daily effort. A lasting marriage isn’t built in the big moments, but in the small, consistent choices to choose each other.