Why are Homemakers Depressed?

Are you a homemaker or a newly married women who is trying to find a way for your mental peace and emotional struggles? Are you struggling with daily routines, in-laws, advises from others, taunts, fighting for self-respect, love from others, financial independence, goals, hobbies, career, and parenting? Then you have come to the right place. I will make sure I clear all your doubts and help you with what you can do to come out of this mess. Only women can understand women most of the times. Life of homemakers is not easy as we see from outside. Though everything seems normal from outside, there is so much going on in a homemaker’s head that we cannot even imagine. Working women also feel stressed, depressed, feel guilty for not being with children all day, and tired all day as they are trying to balance both work and family. If you want to know more about the life of a working woman, then please read this article. Life of a homemaker and a working woman.

But homemakers struggle for a long time with mental stress as they don’t have any collogues to talk, parties at offices, salary every month, appreciation from boss for good work, office holidays, bonuses, and promotions. Because money and success have become very important for every human. Without it we feel incomplete. You may get some money from your family members as gifts or pocket money but that still feels like others money. When you earn your own way, you will have the right to spend it on anything you want.  You may also have everything in your home, but still when you want something and you go to ask your husband or parents to give some money to buy that, it feels like you are completely dependent on someone else for your own needs.

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When you ask the same question of why homemakers are depressed to men and teenage kids, they laugh and tell why they are depressed when they have nothing to do and stay at home happily without any work. They think we get free food, free gifts from them, free time, free clothes, free furniture, free pocket money, and free shelter. They think they are providing us with everything but still we complain of everything. This is the kind of reaction you will get from more than 50% of people especially men. This is also the main reason homemakers are not getting any chance to speak up or explore the outside world like men do. We are still stuck between the four walls of our house with kids, parents, and in-laws and when you don’t have any knowledge about the outside world, men taunt you again that you don’t know anything and are useless. What do you think about this? Do u think homemakers should thank and respect people for what they are providing to them and never be depressed again? Or do what they like for their financial freedom or mental peace along with balancing kids and household chores? I will tell you the correct answer according to me and what our religion also tells for women to do. Of course, we have to thank God and everyone else for giving us everything. As there are so many other people who don’t have comfort that we have. But this doesn’t mean you have to just sit and do nothing. We have to try to grow more and more every day.

I am also a homemaker with two little children, and I know how it feels to be at home with kids all day long. Without any social interaction, parties, collogues to talk, salary every month, holidays, bonuses, vacations, etc., your mental peace is going to be shattered like glass. Until and unless you don’t find a hobby, goal, job, or career you like to do, you are not going to get out of this. Household chores are very boring and following the same routine as cleaning, washing, cooking, organizing, laundry, wiping, folding clothes, cutting vegetables, taking care of children, and buying grocery, feels like as you are a machine as you have the same job to do every day. There is no excitement, something new, happiness, appreciation, and promotion in these things. Others may see all these works as small, but only a woman knows how tiring and exhausting it is. Just like men get break every week form their routine work, women should also get a break. But the opposite happens in many houses. Homemakers get more work on weekends as the whole family is at home and they tell you more work like cooking some extra snacks, washing some extra clothes, inviting family or friends for lunch and dinner, and taking more care of your kids and husband. And when it comes to festivals and religious gatherings, the household work for all homemakers doubles up.

In the beginning of my marriage life, I was also struggling with all these things. But now I have found a way to come out of this mental stress and lead my life happily without any worries, tensions, sacrifices, disrespect, boredom, financial pressure, or expectations from others. It took me some time to understand and implement all this in my daily life and now I am here to help you too to tell what works best for homemakers who are depressed with their lives and want mental and emotional peace. According to me, you should always have a hobby that you like to do at any time of the day. This will keep you busy or divert your mind from your boring daily routine. I loved writing my experiences in a dairy before. But now, when I got to know about blogging, I started writing blogs so that others can also see my content and get knowledge from it. This helped me a lot with my mental stress. When you have something else to do other than cleaning, washing, cooking, and taking care of children, you will not get bored or lazy with your daily routine. You get busy learning new things everyday.

Understanding Why Many Homemakers Experience Depression: –

Homemakers play a crucial role in maintaining the emotional and practical foundation of a household. Despite this importance, their mental health struggles often go unnoticed or misunderstood. Women are busy taking care of others and all other family members, but those family members ignore her care and emotions as they are also busy in their lives. Many people think a homemaker has to do all this household things and it’s their responsibility. It’s true that even in our religion, women are told to manage household works, family bonding’s, taking care of children, building a career without ignoring family, taking care of husband and parents, and giving emotional support to all the family members. But what people don’t know or don’t want to listen is that the same religion advises men and children to do the same things when it comes to their mothers or wives. They should also help her in household works, take care of her, support her in career, give emotional support, give her some pocket money every month, respect her decisions, give quality time to her, take her on vacations or outside, and give her some rest or break from her daily routines. And if the family members are not able to give all these things to the homemaker, she will lack emotional support, feel depressed, and gets mental and physical strain. Depression among homemakers is more common than many realize, more than 50% of homemakers are depressed and its causes are rooted in a mix of emotional, social, and structural factors. Understanding these challenges is essential for building healthier families and more supportive communities.

Another important factor in today’s world is that nowadays everyone has to take care of their physical and mental health all by themselves. We all live in nuclear families and are doing all the things alone. It is not like in a village or town where everyone come to see you and help you when you are in need. People have become selfish and are running for success. Helping nature and humanity have decreased a lot. Thats why I believe that we should be capable of doing things by ourselves. Because if you are dependent, you have to wait for them to come and do things for you. And people don’t help you for free, they continuously remind you again and again that they helped or expect so much from you in return. That why it’s better to be strong, a little selfish, and independent both financially and emotionally. When you are able to control your mind and heart, you no need anyone else to do that. You need to be physical strong to be healthy by following a healthy lifestyle, you need to be mentally strong by doing meditation, and you need to be emotionally strong by practicing calmness, humble nature, forgiving, and letting go. And if you are lonely and have no one to talk about your feelings and emotions, then write it down in a diary and tear it off. I am telling you to tear it off after writing because others may see and feel bad about it or you may see it again and remember the bad emotion and feel depressed again.

So, homemakers become depressed when their emotional needs are not fulfilled. For women, emotional needs come first than physical or financial needs. That’s why I advise women not to expect anything from others. Just do your work and work on other hobbies that you like the most. This will make you completely busy and relaxes your mind when you do what you love. And trust me, when you don’t bother about other people so much, they start bothering about you. They will come and talk to you, listen to you, and they want to spend time with you knowing about your busy day and what you do. People respect you when you respect yourself first. They listen to you, when you listen to yourselves instead of expecting it from others. So, I advise all homemakers to be strong and independent. You are depressed when you are alone, dependent, or don’t have enough work to do. When you have yourself with you, you will never be depressed again. Love the way you are, take care of your body, maintain good health, focus on hobbies, start building a small career if you don’t have time to build a full career, do some part time jobs from home, learn online courses, make friends with people around you, go in family functions and religious occasions, and give some quality time to yourself with a cup of coffee or your favorite snack.

 7 different reasons of why many homemakers are depressed in our country: –

1. Emotional Labor: – Homemaking requires constant emotional labor along with physical labor, managing household relationships, anticipating family needs, and maintaining a stable environment in the family. Unlike professional jobs, this work rarely receives acknowledgment or appreciation. Over time, the lack of recognition can lead to feelings of invisibility and low self-worth, contributing to depressive symptoms. This happens when you feel, you are the only one taking care of all the others and no one cares about you. But what you should understand is that, only women are capable of doing all these tough jobs. It’s a god given gift to us to maintain happy relations in family, increase bonding between family members, raise our kids with so much love and patience, stand for your self-respect, forgive all the small mistakes that others do to us, and balance everyone in our lives correctly.  You have to be proud about this instead of being depressed.

2. Limited Social Interaction: – Homemakers often spend much of their time at home with kids or in-laws, sometimes with little adult interaction with their parents on phone or in-laws throughout the day. This isolation can slowly build into loneliness, which is a major risk factor for depression. Without regular opportunities for meaningful social engagement like they happen in offices and meetings, homemakers may feel disconnected from the world outside their homes though they have all the knowledge of the world through their phones. That’s why many homemakers get into kitty parties, shopping, or go to their neighbor’s or friend’s house when they are free. In extreme cases, women get into extramarital affairs for their emotional needs which is not correct, and this is not the right choice. If you think your emotional needs are not met by your family members, then look in the mirror and praise yourself for your hard work and strong personality or divert your mind in other things that you like to do.

3. Repetitive Responsibilities: – Household tasks are cyclical: meals, laundry, cleaning, childcare, kids’ homework, exams, doctor appointments, and schedules repeat daily without a clear endpoint. Unlike many professions, homemaking lacks defined work hours, vacation time, or formal breaks. This unending routine can create emotional exhaustion and burnout, which often manifest as depression. And doing the same work every day and every week feels boring to almost all women. We all want some excitement, new and creative in our work and this cannot happen in our everyday routine with kids and family members. That why women end up trying to cook new dishes, spending some time on hobbies like reading books, painting, writing, sticking, makeup, and decorating, changing the furniture of the house every year, shifting things from one place to another, shopping, applying for a full-time jo or part time job, and going out for a walk.

4. Loss of Personal Identity: – Many homemakers sacrifice personal goals, career paths, and hobbies right after marriage to care for their families. This happens especially when the kids are small and they are completely dependent on their mothers for everything. Over time, this shift can blur the sense of “who I am” beyond domestic responsibilities. When personal ambitions are sidelined or forgotten, feelings of stagnation or purposelessness can arise, increasing vulnerability to depression. You may feel you have lost yourself in this whole process of marriage and kids as they become your priority over all the other things. You miss the girl you were before and continuously try to find ways to be that again. Some homemakers may also doubt themselves. They think if they are not good enough, their husbands will find someone else outside. This pressure also makes them to do all the things perfectly and look good in front of their husbands.

5. Unrealistic Expectations: – Society often expects homemakers to manage everything flawlessly — from maintaining a spotless home, taking care of all the family members, cooking delicious food, financially independent, perfect figure, good health, balancing work and family, keeping everyone happy, solving family disputes, always be patient, listen to all the good and bad advises that they give, follow all family traditions, to raising children perfectly, all while appearing calm and composed. These unrealistic standards create immense pressure on the woman. Because we are not machines to do everything perfectly. Even machines worn out and do errors after a few uses or a few years. When homemakers inevitably struggle or fall short for all these things, they may feel guilt, shame, or inadequacy, all of which contribute to depression.

6. Lack of Financial Independence: – Financial dependence can place homemakers in a vulnerable emotional position. Even when they contribute significantly to the household, the absence of personal income can lead to feelings of dependency, reduced autonomy, or diminished confidence. That why its important for all the husbands to give some pocket money to their wife every month. Or put some money in their bank account and let her spend on whatever she wants. And you should not ask her about that money again or try to know what she did with that money. But according to me, it is better for a homemaker to earn her own money with the help of some part time jobs or small businesses. This will make them confident and fearless. And their money will be their own. Just like men earn money and do whatever they want without telling their wives, women also have the right to spend with her own will without asking others for every penny. This can be especially difficult for those women who previously worked outside the home or who feel uncertain about their future financial security if they stopped their career after marriage.

7. Weight of Responsibility: – Beyond physical chores, homemakers often shoulder the “mental load” of the family like remembering appointments, vaccinations, family functions, planning meals, planning for special occasions, birthday parties, packing for trips, tracking school schedules, managing household supplies, and anticipating needs. This constant cognitive burden along with emotional stress that husbands, children, parents, siblings, neighbors, and in-laws give can be overwhelming. When mental fatigue reaches a certain point, it can trigger symptoms of anxiety and depression.

Different ways to Support Homemakers: –

Addressing depression among homemakers requires awareness, communication, and community support. Families can help by:

• Sharing responsibilities more equitably.
• Offering appreciation and acknowledgment.
• Encouraging personal time, hobbies, and self-care.
• Supporting access to mental health resources.
• Valuing homemaking as meaningful, skilled work.
• Supporting them if they want to build a career.
• Taking care of their mental and physical health.
• Giving small surprises or gifts for their hard work.
• Giving them a break from their daily routine.
• Planning a vacation once a year with family.
• Respecting their decisions and advises.
• Listening to their stories and problems.
• Respecting them in front of other people.

Conclusion: –

Homemakers are often the emotional anchors of their families, yet they rarely receive the support they need. Recognizing their emotional challenges is the first step toward creating environments where they feel valued, understood, and mentally supported. The growing body of research makes one thing unmistakably clear: depression among homemakers is not a personal failing, nor is it a rare occurrence. It is a widespread public health concern rooted in structural inequality, social invisibility, and the emotional demands of unpaid labor. Studies from multiple countries consistently show that homemakers often experience higher rates of depression and anxiety than their employed counterparts due to the unique pressures of their role — including social isolation, lack of recognition, financial dependence, mental load, repetitive routines, and limited opportunities for personal growth.

Recognizing these challenges is the first critical step, but recognition alone is not enough. Families, communities, and institutions must begin to treat homemaking as legitimate, demanding work that deserves respect, resources, and support. This means creating open conversations about mental health, offering consistent emotional encouragement, sharing domestic responsibilities more equitably, and ensuring that homemakers have access to mental health screenings and professional help when needed. It also means empowering homemakers with opportunities for skill-building, financial literacy, social engagement, and personal development to significantly reduce depressive symptoms.

Most importantly, we must challenge the cultural narrative that homemakers “have it easy” simply because they are not formally employed. The evidence shows the opposite: homemakers carry an immense and often invisible workload that has real psychological consequences. By acknowledging their contributions, valuing their work, and supporting their well-being, we not only uplift homemakers but also strengthen the emotional health of entire families. Ultimately, supporting homemakers is not just an act of kindness — it is a societal responsibility. When homemakers thrive, households thrive. When their mental health is protected, the foundation of the family becomes stronger. Addressing depression among homemakers is therefore not just a women’s issue or a domestic issue; it is a community, public health, and human dignity issue. And the more we bring these truths into the light, the closer we come to creating homes — and societies — where every individual feels seen, supported, and valued.